Surrender

I am addicted. Addicted to the Holy Spirit and as I reflect on how much I want to be like Jesus I realize just how unlike Him I am. The desire is there and so is the truth of His word. I made a list of things God has changed in my life. It's a good long list. Then I started another list of things God needs to work on in me still, this list is longer then the good list. This woke me up to the reality that I have not really picked up my cross to follow Jesus. Small sacrifices were made but pure vulnerability to the Holy Spirit has not been made by me. The stuff I don't think about made the "need to change" list. Stuff like jealousy, unforgivness, being critical, stubbornness. I don't immediately find myself living in these things but they are there. Little influences from the cultures of the world and the church. Yep, I said it, even the church. All the unbiblical  hubbub of traditions and you should look this way, or dress that way , sit, stand, be still, shout, it's all a bunch of garbage if in your heart you are not being vulnerable to the Holy Spirit and valuing His purpose and direction for your life. These unbiblical influences from the world and the church will continue to permeate your thoughts and actions until you have completely and without reservation make the choice to die to everything except Jesus. I'm a broken man and Jesus I need you to make me whole. I SURRENDER!!